LOSING FAITH (9/8/07)
I've always been a strong believer in faith and God. These days I'm not so sure. I have been reflecting on my life, especially where I've been sick for so long. I'm trying to figure out where I went wrong, when I got lost, and why the many, many prayers from family, friends and people I don't even know (from east coast to west), praying for me, on a daily basis, aren't being answered. It appears that they are fallen upon deaf ears. How can this be? Am I being punished for something I've done wrong in my life? It certainly feels that way. I have tried to live a good life, to be a good person, be respectful of others and help people in need and less fortunate and for what? I believed in miracles, now I'm not so sure. I could certainly use one, but nothing. What have I done that was so bad? There has been a black cloud looming over my head for as long as I can remember. It just won't go away. Anything that can go wrong or bad, does. Do you recall the saying. . . If it wasn't "shit for luck, I'd have no luck at all". . . well I have NO luck AT ALL! I don't know what else to do? I pray, ask, beg and plead, but nothing. I'm trying so hard not to give up, but I'm losing faith!
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4 comments:
Hi Robin,
I know mostly how you feel...my CVB virus does not seem to be quite as bad as yours (I'm still able to work but have numerous days off).
For me it has been about a year and half odd of palpitations, aches, CFS etc. Physical exertion is out of the question and I seem to have an intolerance for sugar and alcohol.
I feel that no real meds exist to properly treat this viral infection however for what it is worth I am taking Engystol, Cipralex, a range of multi vitamins and a product call cell food which is meant to inhibit viral activity. They only appear to help marginally/keep things at bay.
A tedious disease which is busy ruining my life as I used to be an avid rock climber and generally an outdoor person.
Best wishes
James Roberts
jamesroberts100278@yahoo.oc.uk
James, thank you so much for your comments. Now I don't feel so alone! Can you tell me what "cell food" is? How you got your virus? I also have my doctor looking into the meds you are on. I'm glad you have some normalcy with your virus. . .I wish I could say the same. Again, thanks for your reply and the great info. Feel well.
DEAR Robin,
remember me, Moneirah? it's ok if you don't. Not much to comment but i would like to ask you never lose your faith. Don't give up because you are not alone. You got all those pains and wounds because God wanted to test you, to approve that whether you are a person who are capable of enduring all the hardships of life in positive manner or not and I believe you are a great person. You can inspire people with your own way, Robin. Believe me. and appreciate this life more and more as you pass every single day, enjoy the moments and living your life, not let the illness conquer it all. I want to share this quote from my Add Maths teacher,
"good person learns, better person teach, but the best is person who can inspire."
Moneirah, I do remember you. Thank you for your reply. Means a great deal to me. However, I think I have proved to "God" and others, many years ago, that I am capable of enduring ANYTHING and in a positive manner, but the black cloud continues to follow and haunt me. But I continue to keep my head up and just take my illness one day at a time. There isn't anything else that I can do.
But I will continue to "inspire", at least I hope to, that was the whole intent of this blog and reaching people like you. Thank you.
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